The
True Value of a Funeral Professional
By: M-Gillies, MySendOff.com
In his 1884 novel, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark
Twain summed up the role of a funeral director. He wrote, “The undertaker, he
slid around in his black gloves with his softly, soothering ways, putting on
the last touches, and getting people and things all ship-shape and comfortable,
and making no more sound than a cat. He never spoke: he moved people around, he
squeezed in the late ones, he opened up passageways, and done it all with nods
and signs with his hands. Then he took his place over against the wall. He was
the softest, glidingest, stealthiest man I ever see, and there weren’t no more
smile to him than there is to a ham.”
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| Mark Twain |
Over the years a funeral director has sometimes been
bestowed the moniker of an emotionless, anti-hero type of character. But for
those who have experienced the exemplary service of a funeral director in their
time of need, they know that these professionals are actually unsung heroes and
caregivers who have earned the respect from the families they serve.
Perhaps this incorrect stereotyping of funeral practitoners
is because there has been little information presented to the general public of
the true value of a funeral director – a value that extends far beyond just the
listed price of service transactions. As a result, few people understand the
full spectrum of services and benefits that funeral directors provide and
because of this, some people mistakenly view the funeral process as just
another service and commodity.
But for those who recognize the full range of compassionate
services that a funeral director provides, they understand these death care
professionals are individuals who should be respected.
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| Greg Lonsdale, Owner & Funeral Director at Telfords |
It is the funeral director who answers the call of duty in
the darkest moment of a family’s life and steps up ready to guide a family
through the emotional roller coaster of saying good-bye to a loved one, all
performed in a few short days. Few other professions work under these
challenges.
The intrinsic value of the funeral profession are hidden
within the intangible services that licensed funeral directors provide
families. Their experience in understanding and navigating through the turmoil
that death delivers to a family is part of the unwritten services they provide
and these compassionate services are not shown on a funeral service contract.
For a funeral director, their tireless services are often
called on in the middle of the night, because a family who has experienced the
loss of a loved one requires immediate assistance that often cannot wait until
the next morning.
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| Diane Turner, Funeral Director at Telford's |
Their confidence, calming presence and comforting words help
families wade through the fog of death working as a guide who has walked the
path countless times before. They listen to grieving families and encourage the
sharing of memories of the deceased. They often provide a shoulder to cry on.
They help with advice and take care of the smallest of details that the
emotionally frail overlook. They provide options and help plan and organize a
respectful funeral service based on the needs and wishes of the family.
They guide and direct families towards a path of emotional
recovery by letting them know that it is normal and healthy to express their
grief through mourning. They help build a supportive network that includes
organizing the gathering of family and friends to ensure that the bonds of
friendship and family are extended to others who also share their loss.
These services provided by a funeral professional are rarely
seen by the public who show up at the funeral home to pay their respects and
only see the results of the funeral professional’s diligent efforts to please
their families.
It has been said that being a funeral director is a calling
and a lifelong commitment and they are very often descendants of
multi-generational experience. Attention to detail and excellent communication
and listening skills are imperative.
Funeral professionals are composed and sympathetic and they
act as confidants and accommodate the opinions of others. At times, they must
act as a calm voice of reason during emotional disputes that arise between
family members. They are proactive and prepared to attend to the needs of the
grieving. The extent funeral directors will go to serve a family is nearly
unlimited.
What a funeral director does is provide an unwavering
commitment to see a family through a turbulent time. They are the practitioners
of commemorating the dead through the combination of multiple traditions,
rituals and religious doctrines. They are seen as promoters of positive
emotional healing and with their funeral homes they’ve created a private, safe
haven for families to find comfort in their grief and share their loss, free of
judgment from outsiders.
Even in a day and age where cremation has become an
alternative option for families, the role of the professional funeral director
remains unchanged:
To serve the needs of their families and help reinforce the
significance of a life lived by bringing together a collective group that helps
promote the required healing through an organized showing of support and love.
Through this all, it is the funeral director who ultimately bears the
responsibility of making this happen.
As Twain explained about the undertakers of his generation,
“they do it without praise, without complaint and without criticism” and
today’s modern funeral director understands that their purpose remains
unchanged from Mark Twain’s time: to help guide families through their dark
times by creating a meaningful and respectful goodbye built on the foundation
of integrity, dignity and respect.
